Toilet talk

For all the women who, like me, spent an unhealthy proportion of their twenties queuing in girls’ toilets in various clubs and bars across London.

He’s got a penis like a pritt-stick.

Oooh, is that lipstick?

Ah babe, can I borrow it?

Thanks love. Your tits

look bangin’ in that top.

Girls, chop chop in there!

…

The festival

Ahh festivals! Many of the happiest, funniest and craziest moments of my life have taken place in various colourful music filled fields. I will never ever tire of going to my favourite festivals. This poem seeks to capture some of their magic:

Fireworks explode with youthful passion

to soar among the stars,

beyond the bars and the beats and the shrieks

to light wide eyes and wider smiles

…