Toilet talk

For all the women who, like me, spent an unhealthy proportion of their twenties queuing in girls’ toilets in various clubs and bars across London.

He’s got a penis like a pritt-stick.

Oooh, is that lipstick?

Ah babe, can I borrow it?

Thanks love. Your tits

look bangin’ in that top.

Girls, chop chop in there!

The festival

Ahh festivals! Many of the happiest, funniest and craziest moments of my life have taken place in various colourful music filled fields. I will never ever tire of going to my favourite festivals. This poem seeks to capture some of their magic:

Fireworks explode with youthful passion

to soar among the stars,

beyond the bars and the beats and the shrieks

to light wide eyes and wider smiles