Tag: Laughter

Toilet talk

For all the women who, like me, spent an unhealthy proportion of their twenties queuing in girls’ toilets in various clubs and bars across London.

He’s got a penis like a pritt-stick.

Oooh, is that lipstick?

Ah babe, can I borrow it?

Thanks love. Your tits

look bangin’ in that top.

Girls, chop chop in there!

…

A young man called Fred

I feel like we all have a Fred in our lives. If we don’t, it’s probably because we are that person.

This poem is based on true events and should serve as a warning to anyone who proves impossible to lure out of bed in the morning – hangovers excepted:

There was a young man called Fred

Who regarded awaking with dread,

He could not, of his own accord, EVER get out of bed.

…